Sometimes I am shocked that I still learn things about myself. I still have moments where I realize why I do things. It seems like sometimes my brain makes decisions that im not aware of.
I have been telling Justin for a year that I want our family room and hallways painted. Lately it has really been bothering me. I know that I need to hire someone to do it because the ceiling is REALLY tall but the hallways connected I could totally do. Justin told me to the hallways.... I told him that I didnt want to. I have also been saying that I want to repaint our bedroom..... but then when he tell me to do it, I dont want to.
I LOVE painting. I love the feeling of getting up on my ladder and getting it done, of looking at a room and having it look completely different, of feeling accomplished!
The last thing I painted was my kitchen, on september 29th 2010. If you follow my blog then you have read about that day a few times. That was the day we got the call that our IVF failed.
I was thinking about it today and I realized why I havent painted any of it. Its going to be hard to pick up that brush. Its tied to a horrible memory now. I feel like it will bring me back to that place. I know there will be tears but I think its time for me to pick the brush up and just get it over with.
I cant let infertility take everything from me.
argh, I'm so sorry. Good for you for standing up and reclaiming that part of your life! Can't wait to see the pics of the new hallway!
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