Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The way things happen...

Its so true when they say that things never happen as you plan them, we are definitely proof of that point. When I think back over the past 2.5 years this really become abundantly clear. I am a "planner", I have to plan everything that I do and if things dont go as planned it totally upsets me.

I must say that now, looking back, I wouldnt change the way that we became a family of 3 for anything. We worked so hard to have what we have. We have such a different perspective of pregnancy and parenthood. We know exactly how much of a gift Foster is. We know that we were ready to be parents because we fought so hard to be parents.

I overcame so many fears to make this family. I overcame my fear of blood draws, needles, shots, surgery,  and personal privacy. Not only those things but I had to learn to be "weak"..... this is something that I have always struggled with. I like to the the funny one, the strong one, the one who doesnt really show her sadness to others. I am not good at crying on other people's shoulders. I dont even cry to my parents. The only person who gets that side of me is Justin. After almost 10 months of failure and private pain  I shared all that we were going through with some close friends. It was hard for me, it was a change for me. I still struggle with this and I still tend to want to pretend that I let things roll off my back and im ok, I dont like to let people know how scared I am.... thats just how I am.

The end of our infertility journey began with surgery:

and ended with surgery:

Like our journey to get pregnant our pregnancy was riddled with issues and complications:
- Low beta numbers
- Abnormal NT scan
- Growth scan issues
- Fetal echos
- Polyhydramnios
- A bleeding scare
- Mild Preeclampsia
- Bedrest
- Severe Preeclampsia
- Failed 28 hour induction
- C-Section
- NICU stay for Foster
- Failed car seat test
- Readmission to Children's Hospital
- Severe Reflux

We are not "normal"... things arent easy for us and we are used to that now. Looking back on it I learned a lot, cried a lot, loved a lot and now I am who I am because of all the things that we went through.

I cherish this miracle.


  1. Your post is absolutely beautiful and inspiring. Your little one is truly a blessing and I wish the best of luck to you and your new family of 3 dear :)

  2. I love you, Linz! You are truly one of the strongest people I know for all that you guys went through. I'm so happy for you that your little miracle was brought into the world...you definitely deserve such a perfect baby! <3

  3. I love this post! So touching! Incredibly happy u have your family of three!