"You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart; that will take your life and light it up or destroy it. Then you become a mother."
Someone recently said to me that the love a mother has for her child can sometimes be "overwhelming". I cant think of a better way to put it. I have never had happy tears that are so painful. You truly cannot understand the passionate selfless love that you form when you have a child.
Today, his 2 month birthday, was a happy but hard day. I look at him and its so fun to see him change and grow but at the same time it is scary because it happens so fast and I just want to slow it down. I am TERRIFIED for the day to come when he no longer wants to snuggle with me or let me hold him and just squeeze him tight and kiss his head. I know that every parent goes through this but I never really understood how painfully hard it is, and my son is only 2 months old!
The pain that I felt when I thought I honestly would never have a child was indescribable. The pain I feel now is very different but painful all the like.... its fear of losing him, fear of not giving him everything that he needs, fear of failing him.
My husband means the world to me but the love that I have for my son is so different from any other love. I am so thankful that through years of the most painful experiences I have ever had that it has led me here, to what I was seeking all along and what I got is even greater than I ever imagined. I pray that everyone eventually gets to feel this.